Suspiria, 1977 – ★★★★½

“Bad luck isn’t brought by broken mirrors but by broken minds.”

Suspiria is a highly stylised movie that does its own thing, while maintaining a great grasp of cinematic story telling and all the most exciting elements of a good horror.

Our protagonist, Suzy Bannion, comes from a long line of dancers. She is a new student at Tanz Akademie (a dance academy in Germany) who arrives after the death of one of its recently expelled students.

The soundtrack by Goblins – which is amazing – begins somewhere between the creeping wintery orchestrations of Nightmare Before Christmas or Home Alone, and the whispering and lullaby glokenspiel of Friday the 13th or unrepenting tubular bells of The Exorcist. Soon onwards, we’re treated to far more experimental sounds verging on psychotic progressive rock which acompanies some equally striking imagery, including almost garishly bright geometric interior designs that wouldn’t look out of place in a Kubric movie or an absurdist Terry Gilliam-like unreality.

The soundtrack, set design, and incredible saturated colouring & lighting make you feel as though you are watching an artistic piece in which the horror or storyline are surely to be secondary, however, the first death comes at you with just as much inventive energy – something I in no way would wish to spoil but am absolutely dying to tell someone about. I’m definitely jealous of those who saw this in the cinema at the time and got to immediately talk about it with their friends afterwards.

To willingly repeat myself, I don’t think I’ve seen a movie so beautifully coloured and lit from the 1970s; there is a Gaspar Noe quality to the intensified natural lighting creating a hyper real palette, reminiscent of his Enter The Void. However, a thematic drenching of primary coloured light does sometimes come out of nowhere.

The dialogue in Suspiria is entirely dubbed. Each actor was speaking in their native language and then replaced by either their own ADR or by someone else speaking in English. It’s often not an issue and helps give a clean emphasis to the music, sound effects, and deliberately crafted mood, however, there are rare moments of voices not matching the actor to the point of appearing to be spoken off-screen.

The film’s characters includes some overt caricatures, however, they all fit comfortably into Suspiria, matching up to its landscape, like the eccentric inhabitants of a Wes Anderson world.

I was grateful that Suspiria doesn’t simply create a strange society around Suzy that ignores its own preposterousness, instead having everyone also react in their own way to events, unlike other surreal horrors where oddities are ignored by its inhabitants, because the protagonist is just a cry baby outsider.

For being a film, and especially a horror, about a load of pretty young dancers who are potential victims of something, Suspiria doesn’t become exploitative or depict women stereotypically. The students all have a wide range of personalities, they aren’t all pathetic victims, and there’s no gratuitous sexualisation or nudity.

When it comes to unfortunate ends, anyone, including the most furniture-like, can suddenly star in their own extravagant death scene – even the most hardened viewer will feel a pull at their heartstrings at the demise of the obese bat puppet. You won’t often guess who’s going to be killed, how, by whom, or why, until the scene is set. Suspiria then relishes in portraying the act inventively and with artfulness, tension and graphic morbidity.

A significant component of any movie depicting gory killings is blood. In Suspiria it looks like a combination of red paint and tomato sauce. There’s no getting away from how incorrect this appears but it works here better than it could in anything else. It seems as much an ill-judged design decision as it does a convincing one wherein all the people in the world of Suspiria have paint-sauce pumping through them. It doesn’t always work but it’s a respectably bold choice.

As we rattle through the Suspiria house of horrors, some ascending moments of terror feel like they’ve reached the shark jump ending – as you can often bet your legs on them when it comes to surrealistic movies – but instead they escalate to a deliberately dreamy horror that matches the overall grand painterly warped tone.

When the credits hit I laughed out loud, with a sense of appreciation and relief, like I’d just been told the end of a shaggy dog story while exiting a haunted house covered in ketchup.

from Letterboxd – Daniel Pratt

What is a prose?

I’ve started posting stuff on, starting with my pre-existing Not Words and my Nonsense Short Stories I write with a random first sentence before falling asleep.

It’s all here, baby:


Here are a couple of excerpts:

Not Word. 1. Hacro

Definition: A method of speeding up a repetitive task on a computer that still involves human action. A human macro.
Example: Changing the last character in a list of sentences by mindlessly pressing the same short sequence of keys until they all appear done.
(Most often involves the sequence ([right-arrow], [down arrow], [delete]) x [NUMBER OF LINES YOU’VE SPELT WRONG])
References: Macro. Human.

Night Shorts. 3. ‘Jonathan was a shoe’

Jonathan was a shoe.His tongue was stitched in such a way that the front and back facing sides seamlessly merged creating a bulging soft item that inexplicably felt both smooth and rough depending on where you touched it.There were bubbles in his sole that you could see all the way through. They were distributed in such a way that you could look through a bubble in the heal and see out one of the sides. If Jonathan ate too much his bubbles glowed red and made him feel self conscious.He didn’t know if any of the patterns in his design were mirrored or copied in another shoe. This made him feel awkward and lob sided which sometimes made him sad and sometimes lonely. He would cheer himself up quite quickly by remembering his foot was on an accomplished young athlete who he was very good friends with.His arms were laces. They were very soft and had shiny plastic intertwined throughout their threading which made them look like they were covered in glitter. This sometimes made people think he was a girl but he was a shoe and would tell them so but that it didn’t really matter anyway.He was a size 5 in a brand that over estimated their sizes so always believed he was really a 4 1/2. Wanting to be thought of as more manly, he would lie and say he was a 5 1/2 or use units that made it sound bigger. He started to get away with it more as he got older, by which time he had forgotten it was a lie and started to stretch and sag into at least the made up size to which he referred.One day his owner died…

Were those even excerpts? That last one seemed especially long and the first one was definitely an entire piece of something.


So, given that what a prose is is:




  1. written or spoken language in its ordinary form, without metrical structure.
    “a short story in prose”
  2. another term for sequence (sense 4 of the noun).


  1. talk tediously.
    “he was still prosing away about the advantages of a warm climate”
  2. dated
    compose in or convert into prose.

…I think we’re both pretty happy with how things have gone down here and totally get what a prose is, right? Right? Write?

Not Words

This is a list of words that don’t exist but do in my head. In future, they will be stored here.

1. Hacro
Definition: A method of speeding up a repetitive task on a computer that still involves human action. A human macro.
Example: Changing the last character in a list of sentences by mindlessly pressing the same short sequence of keys until they all appear done.
(Most often involves the sequence [right-arrow], [down arrow], [delete])
References: Macro. Human.

2. Kinese
Definition: To apply or imbue kinetic energy.
References: Move.

3. Clatterdown
Definition: A cast-iron spiral staircase.
Attributes: Onomatopoeic.
Etymology: Named for its dangerous potential to ironically descend its user.
References: Staircase.

Unity3D Test Projects

This page will contain whatever comes out of my initial experimentation with Unity3D.

It’s extremely easy to use, especially for those with some experience with games SDKs or programming, and I think it would be an excellent introduction to programming for anyone interested.

Get a free lite version of Unity3D here.

Delightful Boxers

Generic FPS controls. Escape to quit. If you need more help, press ‘h’.

Delightful Boxers and The Quest for The Snake Oil Championship (Windows x86/64)

>Delightful Boxers and The Quest for The Snake Oil Championship (OSX x86)

(Update – 23rd May 2013)

Breakable Things

I’ve added more to this recently. This is the very attempt at making some breakable prefabs. As per all other projects, the programming and rather poor modelling are all my doing.
Breakable Things Test (Windows x86/64)

Real Time Strategy Game

(Update – 26th May 2013)
Real-Time Strategy Game (Windows x86/64)
Select Single Unit – Left Mouse Click
Select Multiple Units – Drag Left Mouse Click / Shift & Click
Go To – Right Mouse Click
Attack – Right Mouse Click
They player units will also go into a seek mode when idle.

If you have any questions regarding these little experiments, using Unity3D, or games programming in general, feel free to get in touch.

And The Beat Goes On

I’ve got a few ideas for what to use this space for:


-Music Experiments (demos, covers, samples, whatever)

-Software Demos


-A Diary of all of the emails a get because of ‘Other Daniel’ whose family send me photos of outings and whose college informed me he had graduated around the same time as I did.

  • This one is a little tricky legality-wise being something I’m not sure a law yet governs. If anyone has any ideas as to how I can be sure it’s OK to publish crap I get for someone else who uses my email address email me. I regularly un-subscribe his shit and have informed any of his friends and family that I’m not him but they still send me things.

-Comedy ideas I can’t afford to produce

-Comedy ideas I have produces (probably cheap)

-A Rant or Two

-Programming Hints & Tips

-Shorts stories / sections from novels I’ll never finish

-An ‘Un-Subscribe’ button

-Finally, more of these playlists I’ve starting making on days I choose music as the background to my working day/night. I’ll try and find a YouTube link where possible as some might have some hidden visual splendor I’m unaware of. In fact, I’m copying and pasting things so fast I’m probably missing official videos and pasting in some gimp’s photographic slide-show from a wet trip to an empty dogging alley with his ‘uncle’, probably. If you find a better one let me know.

Mexican Teenagers – Kaki King
London Bye Ta-Ta – David Bowie (Bowie at Beeb)
Within a Mile of Home – Flogging Molly
Zerox – Adam And The Ants
Storm & Stress – Bloc Party
In A State – UNKLE
Gnik Nus – The Beatles (Love Re-Working)
Ragged Wood – Fleet Foxes
Building Steam With A Grain Of Salt – DJ Shadow
Repulsion – Dinosaur Jr
Crack City – David Bowie & Tin Machine
Mexican Dogs – Cold War Kids
With A Little Glam – ccc – ill chemist
A Sky Blue Rhapsody – ccc – ill chemist
This is Where We Blaze the Nuggz – Caddywhompus
Glycerine – Bush – I was thinking about doing a cover of this, so you know.
Love And Mathematics – Broken Social Scene
Sunday – Bloc Party


Now that the business side of my life is well and truly at home over at Fantastic Development, I feel I can get back to having a web presence all of my own.

To prove it, here’s a fairly meaningless First NEW post with the beginnings of my evening’s work playlist (the links are all to YouTube videos):

Warszawa – David Bowie / Brian Eno
Even Flow – Pearl Jam
The Recluse – Plan B
A Modern Midnight Conversation – The Chemical Brothers
Don’t Ask – grizzly bear
Black Swan (Vogel Bonus Beat Eraser remix) – Thom Yorke
Confessions Of A Pig – Monkey (Damon Albarn & Jamie Hewlett)
Leave Home – The Chemical Brothers
Black Dog – Led Zeppelin
Supertheory Of Supereverything – Gogol Bordello
Eclipse – Pink Floyd
Tuna In The Brine – Silverchair

…and, yes, that’s an OpenGL / Futurama joke you see in the post title. Readers may need to get used to that sort of thing.